Where Have All the Real Men Gone?


At the end of the age when all who had died and were not previously resurrected were standing in line before the Great White Throne, an angel appeared and said, “I want all the men to form two lines. One line will be for the men who were the true heads of their households. The other will be for the men who were dominated by their wives.”

The angel continued, “I want all the women to report to St. Peter.”

The women left and the men formed two lines. The line of men who were dominated by their wives was seemingly unending. The line of men who were the true head of their household had one man in it.

The angel said to the first line, “You men ought to be ashamed of yourselves. God appointed you to be the heads of your households and you were disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose. Of all of you, there is only one man who obeyed God. Learn from him.”

Then the angel turned to the lone man and asked, “How did you come to be in this line?”

The man replied rather sheepishly, “My wife told me to stand here.”

On this Father’s Day weekend, let me ask you: Where have all the real men gone?

When I was growing up, I was often encouraged to “be a man”. It was as though there was this unwritten code of what men do or do not do. Even then, there was often confusion, but certain aspects of it had a semblance of consistency about it.

Later, I would hear people lament “where have all the real men gone?” It was usually the reaction to some movie or television show. My father wanted to watch “real men” like John Wayne, Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson.

As I said, though, it was sometimes still confusing. I’m not sure where I got the idea, although I suspect it might have been due to the warped sense of humor some of my cousins had. Dad wanted us to help Mom out by washing dishes. I announced, “But, that’s women’s work!” I don’t remember much else about the discussion, but he decided that he would prove me wrong from the Bible. I was confident I was right, so I handed him the Bible to prove me wrong.

Dad turned to 2 Kings 21:13, passed the Bible back to me, pointed to the verse and asked me to read it out loud.

And I will stretch over Jerusalem the line of Samaria, and the plummet of the house of Ahab: and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down.

What prompted me to think about these things after all these years was a radio show I recently tuned into while driving around Longmont. I don’t often get to listen to the radio. Furthermore, I was driving, so I don’t know the name of the show, the name of the show’s hostess or the other woman she was interviewing, some author of a book.

They were being somewhat critical of women waiting so long to come out to accuse Harvey Weinstein, as well as many other facets of feminism’s legacy. So many women kept silent all these years. During the 1970s, the mantra was “I am woman, hear me roar”, but what we really got was silence in the case of Harvey Weinstein.

Now, feminism has more or less become the norm, and women lament about how men do not respect them. You know, men used to be bashed for holding the door open, a sign of respect, and so men stopped showing all manner of respect. Now, women sit around and complain about how they have been and still are being treated. I want to stress that I am going to repeat what they said. I am not making this up. However, “I am woman, hear me roar” has turned into “I am woman, hear me whine.”

Men are just as confused as ever. Thanks to the sexual revolution’s idea that you should be able to do what you want when you want and disregard all rules, some became predators. Others went the other direction and became the dewy-eyed sensitive Alan Alda type. It turns out that real women want neither. Real women want real men.

Back to the radio show, the author stated she was a strong woman, and because of that she needed an even stronger man.

That is not a very popular sentiment these days.

Let me ask again: Where have all the real men gone? It is worth repeating because maybe it never really was.

Humanity has a history filled with acts of men violating women in various ways. Feminists love to point out that most of human history is filled with indignities that occurred at the hands of men. The assumption is that women could do so much better.

However, they overlook one inconvenient fact: Various societies down through history have organized themselves in various ways, and, while a patriarchy has usually been the norm, there have been matriarchal societies as well.

You might think that any matriarchy would be much better at preserving the rights of women. You could think that, but you would be wrong.

Orola was happy being around her stepfather when growing up. What she did not know until she reached puberty was that her stepfather was also her husband. The Mandi tribe is a matriarchy that requires a widow to marry within the husband’s clan. Most men the widow’s age would already be married. So, since many single men are much younger, they are often given both mother and daughter as wives in order to keep the inheritance inside the clan and ensure it is passed from mother to daughter without being diluted.

No, a world led by women really would not be better off.

All of this begs a basic, fundamental, underlying question: What is a real man?

The answer, similar to many other answers in life, are found in the Bible. Obviously, people have taken verses out of context down through the ages in order to justify their own preconceived notions, but that does not disprove the Bible as the source of knowledge.

So, let’s first step back and ponder what does God require of all of us, male and female? Once we understand that, we can then understand our relationship to one another.

Ecclesiastes is a dark book, and many believe it was Solomon’s written repentance near the end of his life. Solomon writes 12 chapters of mostly lamenting over his life and the state of this world, yet how does he conclude it?

13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

 

~Ecc 12:13

If we leave God out of the picture, we will not be real men, real women or even real human beings as God intended. The world is in such a mess because it has turned away from the true source of wisdom and knowledge, and instead the world is picking the fruit of the tree of knowledge through painful experience.

Keeping the commandments is our duty, but what else is required? Micah 6 expands upon obedience and tells us what is required.

8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

 

~Mic 6:8

So, here we have what is required of human beings in general. How do you learn what is just? How do you learn what mercy is? How do you learn how to walk humbly Again, I submit to you that this information is found in the pages of your Bible.

Jesus Christ, our example, quoted from Scripture freely. He is our example, and God set the stage for showing real manhood through what was recorded about His life and even His death.

We need to read what the Bible says and not put our own preconceived notions into it. We might learn that washing dishes is not woman’s work. We might learn that King David cried. The shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35, which simply reads, “Jesus wept.” Reading the Bible teaches us that in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus showed courage not by not being afraid but by doing the right thing in spite of fear.

What about real women? Can we talk about real men without talking about real women? No, I don’t think so.

HWA used to say Adam was created perfect, but he was created incomplete. Mankind cannot be truly complete without God’s Holy Spirit.

This was manifested physically as well. God often uses the physical to teach us about the spiritual. Adam was also incomplete in that he needed a mate that was his complement. A complement has to have differences that fit into the other side’s in such a way that they make one complete unit.

As that great philosopher Rocky Balboa said, “She’s got gaps. I got gaps. Together, we fill gaps.”

So, what is the complement of a godly man? Isn’t it the Proverbs 31 woman? Is that not the biblical example of a “real woman”? When we have in view the complement of a godly man, we have a more complete picture of what a godly man truly is.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 

~Pr 31:10

And, just how does a man find and attract a Proverbs 31 woman? What causes her to want to marry the real man? What in her mind is a real man?

I heard a sermon many years ago by a person, and that message really stuck with me about what attracts a virtuous woman to a man.

How does a man attract a Proverbs 31 woman? By being a Proverbs 1 through 30 man. She recognizes and is drawn to the man who lives by the first 30 chapters of Proverbs. I would dare say that any man who can achieve that is truly a “real man”.

Where have all the real men gone? As long as there are men willing to put God first, live by the principles in the Bible and apply them, then they are not truly gone but they are among us.

To all fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers and father figures, I wish you a blessed Father’s Day.

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